Dark Era 2
I quickly pushed the thoughts of completely ending my life completely to the back of my mind. Why would I end my life for art?I just wanted to end my art, not my life... I was once again stuck with that question, how can I ever give up art? As I thought I realised I had been dragged into history (by Katie) and I was sitting at my desk daydreaming. I glanced at Katie and she was staring at me intently -like I was a interesting piece of art,ugh that word again, why couldn't I ever stop thinking about it?-. I shook off Katie's gaze and tried to not meet her eyes. I didn't need sympathy, I needed an answer.Whenever I tried to concentrate on my book I just saw Mrs. Tillmans' frown as she flipped through my portfolio. I gave up looking at my book, when I started staring at the white board I noticed a little doodle. That was drawn by me, last week when it was teacher's day. It was of a little flower, that was my signature doodle, a little flower with some of it's petals falling down the side of the paper. I stared at that doodle wondering if I have up art, what would I do? I couldn't think of anything right then and there. When I tried to stare at my book, like I was actually focusing, I could just see what Mrs. Tillman had said, "Don't worry, your art is just a little...inexperienced." I couldn't shake off that word, I'd taken proffesional lessons, I'd entered art competitions (and not won, but I was good enough to enter).
Then I met Katie's eyes and saw peace and love in them. I felt confused, how could she look so peaceful and loving when her heart has just been ripped out? Shouldn't she look enraged and hurt? I looked questioningly at her and she just smiled at me. A real smile, not like the fake one she gave to our teacher when he glared at her for not listening.
I looked at my doodle and realised that the flower was me. My petals had grown and then they slowly started to fall. One by one, if I was a flower I would only have a few petals left. What would I do when I had none?
Labels: Dark Era
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